Turning Into Girls
by beeabeeon49
Summary: Talking about Remus was something that James and Sirius tried to avoid. They usually ended up being embarrassed and (sometimes) emotional. This is one conversation they couldn't avoid. Remmius.


**I wrote this ages ago. Like, during the summer. It's not remotely Christmassy, but this is going to be my Christmas fic for you guys. Sorry that I have been involved much in the site lately, I'll try to publish more in the New Year.**

**Merry Christmas, and if you don't celebrate that then I hope you have a great whatever you celebrate!**

James glared half-heartedly at Sirius, who was sitting on the sofa, still and silent, an unnaturally worried expression on his face. Every so often he'd get up, pace the room several times, then sit back down again and resume staring at the fire.

James sighed. "It's not that bad."

"It is!" Sirius moved his gaze to James's face. "I don't like sitting here doing nothing! I want to do something!"

James sighed even more heavily as Sirius got to his feet and paced the room once again. "Well, there's nothing we _can _do. There's no use in wearing a hole in the carpet."

"I don't know how you can be so calm about this!" Sirius flew his hands into the air in exasperation.

"And I don't know how you can be so worked up about it!" James retorted. "You've been like this every full moon since we found out. You've got to calm down – in three hours we can go and see him."

Three hours. Three long, torturous hours.

"Why _are_ you so worked up?" James asked eventually, after a long, uncomfortable silence.

"I don't like the thought of him being alone and hurt!" came the reply. "I thought marauders were supposed to stick together and prevent each other from getting hurt!"

"I think there's more to it than that, I think," James replied mildly, causing Sirius's eyes to widen in shock.

"What do you mean?"

"You're both unhealthily obsessed with each other, that's what I mean!" James cried desperately, glad the Gryffindor common room was deserted, save for them.

The two sat in silence for a long minute, James panting heavily as if he had just ran a marathon.

Sirius turned to face James fully. "I'm still not quite certain of what you're saying," he said after a while, his voice quiet and his expression unreadable.

"Well, there's your extremely out-of-character worrying every full moon, and your wondering where he is constantly. And then there's him always making sure you eat your food slowly and don't choke, and that you've always got your scarf on whenever it's a cold day…"

"That's just normal Moony!" Sirius protested.

"It's not!" James exclaimed, exasperated. "You're both really aware of each other, and starting to really freak me out! It's almost as if you're dating or something!"

Silence followed his loud exclamation, Sirius extremely pale and James wondering whether he'd gone too far and should take it back.

Finally, Sirius spoke. "…So you've noticed that, then?"

That caught James off guard. "So you _are _dating?"

"No, 'course not," Sirius replied easily, causing James to relax slightly. "We just… snog on a regular basis."

This definitely startled James.

"WHAT?"

He leapt to his feet, then, after a full minute of silence, sat back down again. "I now have a really disturbing mental picture," he told his friend conversationally.

"I can make it a reality if you really want me to," Sirius muttered, his cheeks tingeing red.

James stared at him, his mouth dropping open. "You're not kidding?"

Sirius shook his head, steadily becoming redder, starting to resemble a tomato.

There was an awkward silence for a few minutes, which was broken by James whacking his head on the arm of the sofa.

"Umm…" Sirius looked at him in askance, a confused expression on his face.

"I should have known!" James exploded. "It all makes sense now! I should have known you were dating – "

"We are not dating!" Sirius replied heatedly. "We just – "

"Snog on a regular basis, yeah," James interrupted him, rolling his eyes. "But really, I just never thought about you two being together – "

"I would be slightly scared if you had, James," Sirius raised an eyebrow.

James glared at him. "And when where you going inform me of your… snogging on a regular basis?"

Sirius grinned at him sheepishly. "…Never?"

"I think I have a right to know when two of my best friends are dating. No, don't look like that, you're definitely dating. Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because we were scared of how you would react?" Sirius said quietly, playing with the sleeves of his shirt.

James sighed. "Why? Did you think I would be prejudiced? You couldn't have, we know about Moony…"

Sirius shrugged, causing James to groan in frustration. Before the subject could be pursued any further, he said quickly, "So you _are _okay with it?"

"I'm more than okay with it! It's perfect, really – I don't know why I didn't see it before!"

Sirius raised an eyebrow. "And know you sound like a girl. Stop it before you lose anymore dignity."

"But now we can go on a double date!" James burst out. "Once I get Lily to go out with me, of course. And it would only be the two of us for our first date. But after that – "

"I'll know to lock you in a room before you mention the idea to Lily," Sirius told his friend, questioning his sanity. "I'd like to keep this a _secret_, thank you. Besides, that's one way to put Lily off you for life…"

"But she'll be dating me by then!"

"But that doesn't matter! You've got to keep them after you've started to date!"

James smirked. "So you and Moony _are _dating?"

"I supposed we are," Sirius said finally, and with great effort.

James grinned in satisfaction, then checked the time. "Come on, we've still got another couple of hours before you can go and snog your boyfriend. Let's go to the library."

"The library?" Sirius spluttered, backing away from his friend slowly.

"Yeah – we can try and find a way to help Moony, and Lily might be there… It's a win-win situation for both of us."

"Why couldn't you have suggested that before we were reduced to discussing my love-life?" Sirius moaned. "I feel like a girl."

"Maybe you're the female in your relationship. Let's go."

The students of Hogwarts never found out why Sirius Black was chasing James Potter out of the Gryffindor common room, shouting, "I'm not a female, you git!", to which James was shouting back, "You just said you were!", or why they were heading to the library.

**Everyone has to write a Remmius at some point.**

**Please review, in the true festive spirit!**

**bee xx**


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